turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize