I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
