There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
We need to feng shui this bitch.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
