Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
