making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
