you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
