I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
