It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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