you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
