You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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