I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
