you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
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