You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
