i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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