Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
