Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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