Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
