he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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