fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
