you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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