i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
