Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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