Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
