Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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