i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
