I'm jealous of your bromance
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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