i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
