so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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