If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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