i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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