you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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