I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
