Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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