Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
