I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
