i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
