Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
