Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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