I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
