so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
tell me about the eggs
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
