Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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