If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Floor bacon is actually really good
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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