the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
4 words: hood of his car
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
