Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
