reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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