I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
