were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
