We named our party play list daddy issues
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
