dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
