I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
