You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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