He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
