Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Dear god my vagina.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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