id be glad to
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
