Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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