The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize