Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i came on her dog
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
