fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
