"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
We just shotgunned beers for America
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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